So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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