dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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