you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
