is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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