Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
