He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
