Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
