So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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