Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize