butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
