Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize