Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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