have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
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Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
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I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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