Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.