The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.