I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize