he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
