Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
