i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
