I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
