i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
