Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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