belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
