It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
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I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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