I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize