College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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