omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration