She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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