i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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