Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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