i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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