so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
