and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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