Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
