Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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