but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
