I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
