I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
