pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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