Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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