yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
