I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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