If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
