WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
