I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I deserve this hangover.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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