Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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