when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
