what day is it and did you see me today?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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