Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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