now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
