i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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