I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
