check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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