What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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